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The one absolutely unselfish friend
that man can have in this selfish world,
the one that never deserts him,
the one that never proves
ungrateful or treacherous, is his dog.

A man's dog stands by him in prosperity and in poverty.
In health and in sickness
He will sleep on the cold ground,
where the wintry winds blow and the snow drives fiercely,
if only he may be near his master's side.
He will kiss the hand that has no food to offer;
he will lick the wounds and sores that come
in encounter with the roughness of the world.

He guards the sleep of his pauper master
as if he were a prince.
When all other friends desert, he remains.
When riches take wing and reputation falls to pieces,
he is as constant in his love as the sun in its
journey through the heavens.
Senator George Vest, 1870
1) Does your dog know the spelling, Latin root,
      and French translation of the word "walk"?
      Yet is unable to grasp the meaning of "come".

2) Does your dog immediately leap on a cat, bunny rabbit,
      or children upon hearing the words
      "Don't worry he LOVES cats, bunny rabbits, children"?

3) Is your dog shameless? graceless? without dignity?
      Way too in touch with his inner puppy?

4) Does he wake you up in the middle of the night
      to warn you of the dangers of a kitchen chair?
      Then sleep through the theft of all your valuable possessions?

5) Does he develop a tragic and profound deafness at the sound of
      "it's time to go home"?
      Yet possess bionic hearing at the sound of a can opener?
How to tell if your dog has a problem